Uber-M.I.L.F.!*

* M.I.L.F. - Mom I'd Like to F--- (I thought everyone was familiar with that term, but recently came across someone who wasn't and had to explain. It was a bit awkward. Does no one watch the best show on television, "30 Rock"? There was a hilarious episode last season with the best reality show ever, "M.I.L.F. Island". "30 Rock" premieres on Thursday, October 30 - give Tina Fey some love people!)

Okay, back to my real point. Some of you may not even know who Jenna Jameson is, but she is probably the most famous female porn star in the world. I've never seen her work, but I know of her mostly because she is currently dating Tito Ortiz, who is an Ultimate Fighter, and my big boy, not the 3-year old, but the one to whom I am legally married, is obsessed with all things UFC (Ultimate Fighting Champion? Championship?).

So Jenna is now retired, but from my understanding, she was not on the softcore end of the pornography world, she was up for just about anything. When I first heard that she was pregnant, I thought "now there's a woman who should not be having children". Not because I disagree with her choice of profession. As far as I'm concerned, consenting adults can do whatever they want to do, but I more thought about what life will be like for the child of a woman who starred in such films as "Up and Cummers 10". It seems a little selfish to subject a child to that.

And then I thought about what would be worse. To be the daughter or son of Jenna Jameson? After not-that-extensive musing, I have decided that a boy would be worse. Let's face it, by the time this kid is 14, every single one of his friends is going to have seen parts of his mother that he probably hasn't seen since birth. And that won't be the worst of it. How many times is he going to have to hear someone jeeringly ask him if his mom breastfed him?

And that's going to last his entire life. He'll be in a job interview and will just know that the guy interviewing his is imagining his mother in all sorts of situations I won't describe here. He'll be at a bachelor party where people don't really know him and someone will pop on some "retro porn" and there will be his mother again, doing things I won't describe here.

But then if she had a daughter, every guy is going to assume that she is some over-sexed nympho. The teen years are already hellish enough without that albatross around your neck. Heck, all you have to do is develop boobs early and every guy assumes you're easy (so I've heard)!

And lucky Jenna, there won't be just one baby, but two as she's been "blessed" (translation = invitro fertilization) with twins. I think this really is the silver lining in all this because at least these poor kids will have each other to lean on. There will be someone who understands exactly what the other is going though.

But then other porn stars must have kids. Maybe they have a support group already? I know I'd need one.